A Travelling Salesman Whose Car Has Broken

A travelling salesman whose car has broken down goes to the door of the closest farmhouse.

The farmer says,

“You can spend the night but you’ll have to share a room with my daughter.”

The daughter, a gorgeous 20-something, winks at him over her father’s shoulder.

“Oh, I don’t mind that,” exclaims the salesman.

“Just one thing,” says the farmer.

“No funny business. If you touch her, I’ll kill you.”

“Oh no sir,” says the salesman.

“You can count on me!”

Just to be safe, the farmer builds a wall of eggs between the two beds in the daughter’s room.

To get through, one of them would have to break them.

However, In the middle of the night, the salesman can no longer control himself, busts through the eggs and he and the willing farmer’s daughter spend some passionate time together.

They break all the eggs in the process.

When they’re done, they spend the rest of the night piecing the eggs back together one by one and rebuilding the wall. They couldn’t get the yolks in so they just glued the shells together and threw away the rest, so there was a wall of empty eggs.

The next morning, the farmer goes to his daughter’s room and takes a couple of eggs to the kitchen to make breakfast. However, all the eggs he tries to turn out empty.

When the salesman wakes up, he goes down and is surprised to find the farmer staring out the window at his chickens, holding a shotgun.

“What are you doing?” asked the man.

The farmer continues to stare.

“I think one of my roosters is using a c0ndom.”

The Bride Who Knew More Than She Shoul

From the start, I knew this wedding would be the perfect backdrop to reveal a secret. Greg thought he had it all figured out, yet he didn’t know, I was the one holding the detonator. My wedding with Greg looked like something straight out of a fairytale. Greg stood at the altar, beaming. To him, it marked the beginning of our perfect life. But to me, it was the end of a beautiful lie. The reception played out like a dream—champagne toasts, laughter floating across the lawn, his parents acting like the perfect in-laws. And me? I played my part to perfection. For illustrative purpose only Smiling, even dancing with Greg as if everything were fine. But inside, I was just waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb. When the night wore on, Greg grew more eager for our wedding night. His hands lingered too long, his eyes shined with anticipation. But I was focused on my own plan. After the guests left and his parents retreated to the guest rooms downstairs, Greg led me to t...

my MIL and Husband’s Sisters weren’t ready

My husband’s family didn’t know I’d concealed something special among those chocolate bunnies when they hired me as their Easter maid. What occurred next still makes me laugh. I’ve never posted my dirty laundry online. Really, I’m not. The Easter event was too lovely not to share. I’m Emma, 35, a marketing director for a mid-sized company, and married to Carter for three great years. Carter fulfills all my needs. He’s kind, witty, and can load a dishwasher. Our relationship has been nearly perfect except for one major concern. HIS FAMILY. “Emma, honey, could you grab me another mimosa while you’re up?” I’d barely taken two steps toward the kitchen when my mother-in-law Patricia’s voice floated over our rear patio last month. She’d been sitting in her comfy lounge chair for nearly an hour. I don’t gripe about everything. Social media isn’t where I vent or publish passive-aggressive status updates. Carter’s mother and sisters, Sophia, Melissa, and Hailey, are exceptional. By excep...

Richard Miller’s world fell silent in 1979

Richard Miller’s existence had been reduced to silence by 1979. He was a widow at the age of thirty-four; his wife, Aipe, had passed away two years prior following a protracted illness. His residence, which was previously replete with the aspirations of children, now resounded with a sense of absence. Richard’s evenings were the most challenging: He sat at the kitchen table, gazing at the disintegrating painted paper under the yellowish light of a single bulb, while the ticking of the clock reminded him to pass the time. His acquaintances encouraged him to remarry, to begin anew, and to alleviate the emptiness. However, Richard was not inclined to initiate anew. He was obligated to fulfill the pledge Apple had made to him on the hospital bed: “Do not allow love to perish with me.” Please provide me with a destination. The promise he made motivated him to continue, as he was uncertain of the direction it would lead until his old, rainy pickup vehicle malfunctioned near...

Grandma funnies

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