A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents

A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents.

After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man.

The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink.

“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.

“I am a bible scholar.” he replies.

“A bible scholar? Hmmm,” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she’s accustomed to?”

“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks the father.

“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies. “God will provide for us.”

“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”

“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancé.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions him, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, honey?”

The father answers, “The bad news is, he has no job and no plans. The good news is he thinks I’m God.”

-- Teacher Asked To Say Something Dirty To Johny --

Teacher: “Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words?”

Little Johnny: “Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time.”

Teacher: “You didn’t use any bad word in your sentence.”

Little Johnny: “Well, when I was running I farted many times!”

The Bride Who Knew More Than She Shoul

From the start, I knew this wedding would be the perfect backdrop to reveal a secret. Greg thought he had it all figured out, yet he didn’t know, I was the one holding the detonator. My wedding with Greg looked like something straight out of a fairytale. Greg stood at the altar, beaming. To him, it marked the beginning of our perfect life. But to me, it was the end of a beautiful lie. The reception played out like a dream—champagne toasts, laughter floating across the lawn, his parents acting like the perfect in-laws. And me? I played my part to perfection. For illustrative purpose only Smiling, even dancing with Greg as if everything were fine. But inside, I was just waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb. When the night wore on, Greg grew more eager for our wedding night. His hands lingered too long, his eyes shined with anticipation. But I was focused on my own plan. After the guests left and his parents retreated to the guest rooms downstairs, Greg led me to t...

my MIL and Husband’s Sisters weren’t ready

My husband’s family didn’t know I’d concealed something special among those chocolate bunnies when they hired me as their Easter maid. What occurred next still makes me laugh. I’ve never posted my dirty laundry online. Really, I’m not. The Easter event was too lovely not to share. I’m Emma, 35, a marketing director for a mid-sized company, and married to Carter for three great years. Carter fulfills all my needs. He’s kind, witty, and can load a dishwasher. Our relationship has been nearly perfect except for one major concern. HIS FAMILY. “Emma, honey, could you grab me another mimosa while you’re up?” I’d barely taken two steps toward the kitchen when my mother-in-law Patricia’s voice floated over our rear patio last month. She’d been sitting in her comfy lounge chair for nearly an hour. I don’t gripe about everything. Social media isn’t where I vent or publish passive-aggressive status updates. Carter’s mother and sisters, Sophia, Melissa, and Hailey, are exceptional. By excep...

Richard Miller’s world fell silent in 1979

Richard Miller’s existence had been reduced to silence by 1979. He was a widow at the age of thirty-four; his wife, Aipe, had passed away two years prior following a protracted illness. His residence, which was previously replete with the aspirations of children, now resounded with a sense of absence. Richard’s evenings were the most challenging: He sat at the kitchen table, gazing at the disintegrating painted paper under the yellowish light of a single bulb, while the ticking of the clock reminded him to pass the time. His acquaintances encouraged him to remarry, to begin anew, and to alleviate the emptiness. However, Richard was not inclined to initiate anew. He was obligated to fulfill the pledge Apple had made to him on the hospital bed: “Do not allow love to perish with me.” Please provide me with a destination. The promise he made motivated him to continue, as he was uncertain of the direction it would lead until his old, rainy pickup vehicle malfunctioned near...

Grandma funnies

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