A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck.
"Darling, I have great news - I'm a month overdue. I think were going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill. "Are you Mrs Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!" "How do you know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, its in our files!" says the man from the electric company.
"What are you saying? It's in your files???"
"Absolutely." "Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight." That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious.
All you have to do is pay us." "Pay you? And if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off." "And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know.
I guess she'd have to use a candle."😂
--Laugh of the day: I saw the light--
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas were both 102 years old. They had been married 74 years. The local television station sent a news crew out to interview them.
"What we need to do," the reporter explained, "is to interview you separately. It just seems to make for a better write-up, when we do it that way. So, if you don't mind waiting, Mrs.
Thomas, we'll go out on the porch with your husband and visit with him for a few moments first."
After they were settled on the porch, the reporter began his interview.
"Mr. Thomas, I know you get tired of people asking you this, but what do you think is the cause of your longevity?"
"Well..." Mr. Thomas drawled thoughtfully.
"I get up early every morning. I eat pretty good, you know, garden food and such....and...oh, yeah! God talks to me!"
The reporter stared up at him to see if he was kidding. "You mean God actually talks to you?"
"Yep," the old-timer replied sincerely. "We're pretty close. In fact, when I have to get up and go to the bathroom during the night, God even turns the light on for me."
The reporter quickly excused himself and went in search of Mrs. Thomas.
"I don't mean anything unkind by this, Ma'am, but is Mr. Thomas okay... mentally, I mean?"
"Why?" she asks curiously.
"Well, he says that when he goes to the bathroom at night, God turns on the light for him," the reporter explained.
"Oh, damn!" Mrs. Thomas said, irritably. "Has that old fart been pissin' in the refrigerator again.”Click to read next joke
