An old man woke up to celebrate 92nd birthday.
He spoke to his toes. He said, “Hello toes! How are you? You know,
you’re 92 today. Oh the times we’ve had! Remember we walked in
the park in the summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we
waltzed on the dance floor? Happy Birthday, toes!”
“Hello, knees,” he continued. “How are you? You know you’re 92
today. Oh, the times we’ve had! Remember when we marched in
the parade? Oh, the hurdles we’ve jumped together. Happy
Birthday, knees.”
Then, he looked down at his crotch. “Hello Willie, you little bugger.
Just think, if you were alive today, you’d be 92.”
--A Third Grade Teacher Always Took Roll Call--
A third-grade teacher always took roll call each morning and had the pupils answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher’s pet. He stood and said,
“My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can.”
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating,
“My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby…if I can, and I think I can.”
The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room.
He stood up and said,
“My name is Johnny, and I don’t give a damm about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can”
