Two women are on a girls’ night out, both of them married, loyal and exemplary wives.
This night they have had one too many Bacardi Breezers and are unsteadily walking home.
On the way they suddenly realize that they really have to pee, and lacking any proper facilities, they decide to sneak into a graveyard.
The first woman realizes that she has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and then throws it away.
Her friend, however, is wearing expensive lingerie and doesn’t want to resort to such methods. Instead, next to a grave she finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.
Having finished, they both walk home, tipsy but happy.
The next day, the first woman’s husband phones the second woman’s husband, furious:
“You’ll never believe this! My wife came home last night not wearing any panties!”
“That’s nothing,” says the other man, “My wife came home with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said,”…
“From all of us at the Fire Station, we’ll never forget you.”
--79 year old man gets nak*ed when his wife doesn’t notice his cowboy boots--
An elderly couple, Mildred and George, moved to Texas. George always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”
Mildred looked him over and said, “Nope.” Frustrated, George stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely nak*ed except for the boots.
Again he asked Mildred, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”
Mildred looked up at his nak*ed body and exclaimed, “George, you know what, nothing is different! It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!”
Furious, George yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MILDRED?”
“Nope,” she replied.
“IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY COOL NEW BOOTS!”
Without changing her expression, Mildred replied, “Should have bought a hat, George. Should have bought a hat!”
-- How much money would you have?--
If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents,
how much money would you have?”
“One dollar.” answered little Johnny.
“You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”
