An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood.
They we’re celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street to their old school.
There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared and where he had carved “I love you, Sally.”
On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car and lands practically at their feet.
Sally quickly picks it up and decides to take it home until they decide what to do with it.
There, she counts the money, and it’s fifty thousand dollars.
The husband says, “We’ve got to give it back.”
She says, “Finders keepers,” and puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money and show up at their home.
They say, “Pardon me, but did either of you find or know about some money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
She says, “No.”
The husband quickly interjects, “She’s lying!! She hid it up in the attic.”
She says, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
However, the agents sit the man down and begin to question him.
“Sir, please tell us the story from the beginning.”
The old man says,
“Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”
The FBI agents immediately look at each other and say, “Let’s get out of here!!”
--One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman--
One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset.
“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!”
The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”
“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
So the husband began, “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night. The ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…” “Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
