A 70-year-old woman chose to remain overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday.
The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She requested to know why the charge was too high.
“It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the clerk.
The clerk clarified that $250.00 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager.
The manager showed up and explained that the hotel “has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.”
“But I didn’t use them,” the old woman said.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” he replied.
The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.
The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.”
Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I didn’t use it!”
The manager then countered with his standard reaction. After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay.
The manager was shocked when she gave the check to him. “But madam, this check is for only $50.00,” he said.
“That is right. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me,” the old lady replied.
“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”
--Blonde And Alligator Shoes--
A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana
She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging.
After becoming very frustrated with the local shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”
The shopkeeper replied, “Good luck! Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, and he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, rope in hand
Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her
She lunges, wraps herself around the beast and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank Laying nearby were several more alligators all tied up.
Completely amazed, the shopkeeper got out of his car and walked toward the young lady.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts up at the shopkeeper, “Ugh! This one isn't wearing shoes either!!”
