My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!”
My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!”
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove, Her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”
She explained,
“The egg timer’s broken.”
--Two Senior Widows--
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy:
“That nice George Johnston asked me out for a date.
I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”
Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you.
He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7pm, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!
Then he takes me downstairs. And what’s there; a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvellous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show.
Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL.
Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me three times!”
Dorothy: “Goodness gracious! So you are telling me I shouldn’t go?”
Edna: “No, no, no … I’m just saying, wear an old dress.”
