A little boy said, “Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?
“Why sure you can,” his grandfather replied.
As he sat on his grandfather’s lap he said, “Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?”
“A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog.”
The boy said, “Grandpa, will you please, please make a sound like a frog?”
Perplexed, his grandfather said, “Sweetheart, why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?”
And the little boy said, “Because Grandma said that when you croak, we’re going to Florida!”
--An Old Lady Having A Problem--
One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch.
She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”.
She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin.
She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him.
The doctor said, “You probably have the crabs”.
“No” she said, “I am an eighty year old virgin.”
Frustrated, she went to a third doctor.
She said, “Doctor can you help me? I have an itch in my crotch. Don’t tell me that it is the crabs because I am an eighty year old vi'rg''in. It can not be the crabs.”
The doctor said, Jump on the table and let’s have a look.”
“After examining the doctor proclaimed, “Ma’am, your right, you do not have the crabs, this cherry is so old, you have fruit flies.”
