I was on a very crowded bus and an old woman with a walker gets on.
All the other passengers proceed to file on and take up the remaining standing places but she stands close to me, staring me in the eyes.
After 5 minutes of this, I kindly ask, ‘may I help you?’
She replies, “yes, I have been waiting here for 5 minutes now and you have not offered to give me your seat “
Can you give me a good reason why I should?”
I can give you 5. I am an old woman of 86, I have near paralysis in my left leg, a hip that has been replaced twice, my husband died 3 days ago and every second I stand up is pure agony. Can you give me as many reasons why you deserve the seat more?”
Sadly, only one. I’m the freakin’ driver.”
-- Three nuns going to do one sin--
There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each.
So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you.
So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed.
The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, “I had spend a night with a guy.”
The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water.
So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was.
She said, “I got in a fight with another nun.” So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did.
The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did.
And as she was laughing she said, “I p**sed in the holy water!”
