An old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says “I want to get a tattoo”.
The artist hesitantly replies “Well, ok where would you like this tattoo?”
Old lady: “actually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right thigh”
Artist: “you know how much this will hurt? Are you really sure you want them there?”
Old lady barks at him: “of course I know that’s where I want them! I don’t care how much it will hurt!”
Artist: “okay, whatever you want then. Let’s take a look at art the art book to see if there is something you want.”
Old lady: “I already know what I want. I want a Christmas tree on my left thigh
and a turkey on my right thigh”
Artist: “uhhhh ok, I will do that, but could you answer me as to why you would want such a thing?”
Old lady: “Because in sick of my husband complaining there is nothing to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving!”
--The Russian couple make love--
The Russian couple make love life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow’s first make love store opened up across the street.
“Olga, why don’t you go out and buy some of that feminine deodorant spray I’ve read about?” said Ivan.
She agreed.
An hour later, she returned, all excited.
“You should see all the flavors they have,” she told her husband.
“Strawberry, cherry, banana…”
“What kind did you get?” he interrupted.
“Tuna,” she replied.
