A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:
“Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.
Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride.
She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.”
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn’t wear because they were out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you.
Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked,
“Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?”
“And so, here we are!”
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A couple whose marriage was on the rocks sought the advice of their pastor.
The pastor encouraged them to patch up their quarrel and keep their vows, but the couple was adamant.
“Well,” said the pastor, “you know the consequences if you insist on a divorce.
Remember this: you must divide your property equally.”
The wife flared up
“You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him half? My money?”
“Yes,” said the pastor
“He gets $2,000
You get $2,000.”
“What about my furniture? I paid for that.”
“Same thing,” answered the pastor
“You split it equally.”
There was a challenging gleam in the wife’s eye
“What about our three children?”
The pastor was stumped at first but then quickly came up with a Solomonic solution.
“Go back and live together until your fourth child is born.
Then you take two children and your husband takes two.”
The wife shook her head.
“No, I’m sure that wouldn’t work out
If I depended on him, I wouldn’t have the three I’ve got.”
