A few months after his parents were divorced,
little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her ru''b''bing her body and moaning, ”
I need a man, I need a man!”
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes,
threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning,
“Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike
--A newly married Liam goes to the meet Father Charles--
A newly married Liam goes to the meet Father Charles.
He greets the priest and says, ‘Father, I need to talk to you.
‘ The Priest asks, ‘Is it a confession, my son?’ Liam replies, ‘No, Father.
I need to clarify something.’ The Priest takes Liam to his private chamber and says, ‘Tell me, Liam.
What is it?’ Liam asks, ‘Father, why do some women try to change men after marriage? My friends keep teasing me about it.
‘ The Priest smiles and replied, ‘Liam, my son; as the bride walks down the long aisle, she excitedly registers 3 stimuli: The altar, the choir and the sound of the hymn being sung.
Aisle, Altar, and Hymn. She becomes mesmerized.
Aisle, Altar, Hymn. Aisle, Altar, hymn. Aisle, Altar, Hymn.
And finally, as she stops beside the groom, she is already saying to herself… “I’LL ALTER HIM.”
