Toilet humor I know you haven't heard before.
So, I can guarantee this isn't a repost because it just happened to me. But I guess to put it in joke form I'll just tell it like this:
So this man decides to buy a bidet for his toilet. He gets it installed, and over time (with a couple surprises) he gets pretty comfortable using the controls.
It's got a self cleaning function that flushes the nozzle, and he uses it before getting up and going on with things.
One night, he wanders in to pee, wearing only his shorts, and remembers he didn't flush it because the phone rang, and reaches down to the dial, flipping it quick left, then back to center... and a bit more.
The bidet shoots out and sprays, hitting him *precisely* in the belly button, filling it and spraying back onto the seat, running down his legs, and the floor in the second before he realizes what is happening and wrenches it off with a shout.
"What happened?" asks his companion.
Coming down the hall, the man mutters curses under his breath and announces "I just proved it.
The bastard is doing it on purpose! Fucker aims *DIRECTLY* for any hairy hole put anywhere in front of the bastard, and tries to f'u'ck it!"
--Dentist and the old woman--
An old woman had a toothache and had to go visit her dentist.
When she arrived, the assistant led her into one of the patients rooms, and she sat in the chair.
Shortly, the dentist came in and said “Lets take a look at what’s going on here”.
After a few moments the dentist said “Dear, I’m going to have to pull that tooth.”
He reclined the chair, and reached back for some dental pliers. As his hand was approaching her mouth with the pliers, he felt a hand come up on his crotch, and the old lady said, “Doc, we’re not to hurt each other, now are we?”Click to read next joke
