One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route.
As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night.” the mailman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies,
“Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.” funny-grandma.com
The mailman thinks a moment and says,
“How do you play that?”
“Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our “privates” showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”
The mailman laughs and says,
“Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.”
Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responds. “Your name came up four or five times.”
Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old Little Johnny out for a drive in the car for some quality time — pancakes, ice cream, candy — just him and his grandson.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed.
He knew his grandson always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed.
Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take The Little Johnny for his weekly drive and breakfast.
When they returned, the little Johnny anxiously ran upstairs to see his grandfather who was still in bed.
“Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked.
“Not really, PaPa, it was boring. We didn’t see a single as$hole, queer, piece of sh!t, horse’s a$s, tree hugger, socialist left-wing prick, blind b@stard, dipshit and son of a b!tch anywhere we went!
We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn’t have any fun.
