A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large h . le in the ice and dipped the r.o. d in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another h*le, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man coolly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those h*les.”
--
Nudist Colony--
Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony.
On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies, "No, what do you mean?"
She says, "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me."
Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down, and happily lets him have his way with her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts.
Within a few moments a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says,
"Sir, did you call for me?" Bob says, "No, what do you mean?"
"You must be new here, it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and sodomizes him.
Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?" Bob says, "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 membership fee." "But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities..."
"Listen lady, I am 67 years old. I get a hard-on once a month---but I fart 15 times a day!"
