An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window:
Butter – 9 francs.
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign:
Butter – 8 francs.
Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read:
Butter – 7 francs.
This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said,
“Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete.”
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered,
“Monsieur, I don’t even sell butter.”
--DIRTY OLD MEN--
An elderly man has owned this large farm in Louisiana for many years. Right at the back of the farm, there is a large pond that is ideal for swimming.
The old farmer fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening, the farmer decides to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hasn't been down there for a while.
Before setting off, he grabs an empty bucket as he decides he'll bring back some fruit.
As he nears the pond, he can hear voices shouting and laughing with glee. Clearly, some people are having a good time.
As the farmer gets closer, he can see a bunch of young women who are obviously skinny-dipping in his pond.
He makes the women aware of his presence and immediately, they all swim over to the far end.
One of the women shouts, "We're not coming out until you leave, mister!"
The farmer replies, "Ladies, I didn't come down here to watch you swim naked or make you get out of the pond. You carry on."
The wily old timer then holds up his bucket and says, "I just came down here to feed the alligators!"
