After 20 years of marriage a husband and wife go to counseling.
When asked what the problem is, the wife breaks into a passionate tirade of every problem they’ve ever had.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist gets up, walks over to the wife, makes her stand up and kisses her very hard.
The woman shuts up and quietly sits down.
The therapist says to the husband, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”
After a moment the husband replies,
“Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I fish.”
--Dorothy and Edna, two elderly widows, are talking--
Dorothy and Edna, two elderly widows, are talking.
Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”
Edna: “Well, I’ll warn you about what happened last week!
He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!
Then he takes me downstairs, and what’s there but a luxury car… a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner Then he takes me out for dinner a marvelous dinner… lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.
Then we go see a show.
Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!
But then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and made love his way with me two times!”
Dorothy: “Goodness gracious!… so you are telling me I shouldn’t go out with him?”
Edna: “No, no, no… I’m just saying, wear an old dress.
