One morning while his wife was making breakfast,
a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her b''u'tt.
He said to her, “If you firmed up your b''u'tt we could get rid of your girdle.”
The wife was angry but said nothing.
The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said,
“If you firmed these up we could get rid of your br'a.”
The wife grabbed her husband’s pe''n'is and replied,
“and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!”
--An Amish Lady Driving Her Horse-Drawn Buggy Is Pulled Over By The Police--
An Amish lady was driving her horse drawn buggy to town with her young son when she was stopped by a highway patrol officer.
“I’m not going to cite you,” said the officer, “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous.”
“I thank thee,” said the Amish lady, “I shall have my husband repair it as soon as we return home.”
“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed that one of the reins to your horse is tied around your horse’s testicles. Some might consider this to be ‘cruelty to animals’ so you’d best have your husband check this, too.”
“Again I thank thee,” said the Amish lady, “I shall have my husband check this also when I return home.”
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector and her husband said that he would repair it immediately.
“Also,” said the Amish lady, “the policeman said that there was something wrong with our emergency brake.
