A married man was having an affair with his secretary
One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house “Darling,” replied the man, “I can’t lie to you
I’ve been having an affair with my secretary
I fell asleep in her bed and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.” The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf!”
--A PETA Activist Visits A Small Ranch--
A PETA activist visits a small ranch in Montana
After meeting the farmhands and inspecting the facilities, the activist asks the rancher: “So, what do you give to the pigs to eat?”
“Well, pigs don’t need much to live. I give them scraps and food from the fridge that is almost spoilt, that sort of thing.”
“That’s a grave violation of animal rights. You are abusing those poor animals. I’m filing a complaint so you will be fined!”
After some weeks a UN ambassador visits the ranch. After checking the facilities and meeting the farmhands, the man asks the rancher:
“What do you feed the pigs?”
This time, the rancher is better prepared:
“The best food around here, eggs, fresh vegetables, whole milk…”
“What! Such a waste of food! There are children in this very country that suffer from hunger while you give full meals to pigs! I’m reporting on you so you will be fined!”
A month passes and a man visits the ranch.
After visiting the facilities and greeting the farmhands he asks the rancher:
“What kind of food do you give to the pigs?”
“Look here, man, every morning I give each $5 and they can go and eat whatever they f*cking want.”
