Three men – a six addict, a cigarette addict, and an alcoholic – all died and went to hell for their sins.
The Devil approached them as they entered, and offered them a deal. "I will lock you in a room with the object of your addiction for a thousand years. If, by the time those thousand years run out, you can get over those needs for good, I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth."
So the sex addict was locked in a room full of virgins, the alcoholic was locked in a room full of alcohol of all kinds, and the cigarette addict was locked in a room full of cigarettes.
A thousand years later, the Devil went to check up on the sex addict. "I'm so exhausted," the man groaned as he crawled out of his cell. "I'm never having sex again."
As promised, poof – he was sent right back to Earth.
The alcoholic had a much similar reaction. As the door was opened, he collapsed outside. "I am never drinking anything ever again."
Poof, back to Earth he went.
Finally, the Devil went to see the cigarette addict. But just as he opened the door, the addict punched the Devil in the face, shouting furiously, "You forgot the lighter, b–tch!"
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--Beware When You Come Home!--
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late.
One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up.
His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late. "Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" He asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight because cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom!" 🤣
