Don Carlos is 90 years old and lives in an old age retirement nursing home.
Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden. One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her,
“You know what I miss most of all ?”
*What ?” asks Juanita. “SE.X !!!” says Don Carlos.
Juanita laughed and exclaimed,
“You horny old man, but you couldn’t get it up even if they pointed a gun at your head!”
“I know*, he said, “but I would love for a woman to hold it for me, if only for a while.’
“Well, I can help you with that,” said Juanita; and she unzips his zipper, gently takes out his little member and holds it in her hand.
Don Carlos’ face was one of sheer pleasure !
They agree to meet secretly in the garden every night, where they would sit and chat, and Juanita would hold his member during that time.
One night, however, Don Carlos did not appear at their garden hideout at the agreed time.
Alarmed, Juanita began looking all over for him to make sure he was okay.
She ended up finding him sitting on the edge of the swimming pool, next to Catalina, a 85 year old woman, who was holding his member.
Absolutely furious, Juanita screamed at him.
“YOU TRAITOR, BASTARD, SON OF A BITCH !!! WHAT DOES THAT CATALINA HAVE THAT I DON’T HAVE ???”
Don Carlos, with all the pleasure on his face, replied,
“PARKINSONS !!!”
--Two drunk girls stop to pee in a cemetery --
Two drunk girls stop to pee in a cemetery Two drunk girls stopped to pee in a cemetery after a long night out drinking and partying.
The first girl squats down by the car and starts to pee. She then realizes she doesn't have anything to wipe with, so she takes her panties off and wipes herself, and throws them away.
The second girl squats down near a grave Stone and starts to pee. She also realizes she has nothing to wipe with. She saw her friend use her panties but she thinks to herself, "I'm not using my panties, these are expensive! Victoria's Secret is nothing to throw away." So she grabs a ribbon off the near by grave and whipes herself.
The next morning the husband's of the girls call each other. The first girls husband says, "Man my wife came home with no panties on and can't remember anything. I'm divorcing her." The second husband says, "That's nothing man, my wife came home with a ribbon stuck to her ass saying [We will never forget you!] signed by Juan, Carlos, Pepe, Jeremy, and the whole National Guard!"
