A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.
She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any p"""c hair.
She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.
He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden.
I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?" "No," replied the girl.
"I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?" "Yes," he said,
"but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why ever are you worried about that?"
she said. "You've seen it often enough before."
"I know," he said.... "but the bloody darts team hadn't!
--How is your sex life?--
THE SIX KINDS OF SEX
PENSION SEX
Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex."
"Pension sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my
husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural."
"I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!"
SEX & ARGUMENTS
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary
The husband yelled, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold as Ever.'"
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
ELDERLY SEX
One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...he could also fly.
