A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch.
The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an avid golfer she went to the pro shop where he usually played golf. She talked with the pro and he suggested a putter and he showed her one of his finest.
“How much is it?” she asked.
“One hundred and fifty pounds,” he replied.
She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so.
“But it comes with an inscription,” he said.
“What kind of inscription?” she asked.
“Whatever you wish,” he explained, “but one of the old golfers favourites is, ‘NEVER UP, NEVER IN.”
“Oh, that will never do!” exclaimed the wife. “That’s what started the argument in the first place!”
--Don’t Eat Chicken Sandwiches!--
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.
He said, ‘Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?’
She said ‘I love it but I have to stop eating it.’
‘Why?’ he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said ‘Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!’
‘Let me see’ he said.
‘Okay’ and she showed him.. He looked and said, ‘That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.’
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl,
‘I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches
I’m starting to get feathers down there too!’
She asked if she could look, so he showed her!
She said, ‘Oh, my God, it’s too late for you!
You’ve already got the NECK and Giblets!!!!
