A man and his wife check into a hotel
The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed when, suddenly, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more
Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager
The manager says he’ll be right up.
The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true
“Look, lie here on the bed and you’ll be thrown right to the floor!”she tells him
So he lies down next to the wife
Just then the husband walks in.
“What,” he says, “are you doing here?!”
The manager calmly replies: “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”
--A Man Escapes From Prison--
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds:
“He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!”
