A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer : Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.Officer : Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer : Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer : I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can’t do that. Officer : Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer : Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer : You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see .The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner
Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license .The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer
The officer examines the license
He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2 : Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
--The Old Lady Decided To Join Her Husband In The Afterlife--
She decided she would just end her life herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl’s old Army pis tol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, “Your heart would be just by your left breast.”
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
