Three married men are sitting in a pool club

Three married men are sitting in a pool club and arguing over who has the worst marriage.
One of the men says, “I have it the worst.
My prudish wife won’t sleep with me more than once a month!. She refuses!” The other men shake their heads.
One of them asks, “what did you do about it?”
The man says “I slept with that horny blonde over there by the pool table. Unlike my wife, she’ll do anything.” The men laugh.
The second man says, “You think that’s bad? My uptight wife won’t even sleep with me once a year!”
The other men shake their heads and one of them asks, “so, what did you do about it?”
The man says “I got my rocks off with that same slutty blonde over there by the pool table.
She’ll literally do any guy.”
The men laugh, then the third man says,
“That too bad for you guys, but honestly I definitely have it the worst.”
The men say, “what’s the problem with your wife?”
The man says, “Well for one, she’s always down here playing pool
--A guy goes on to a ship--
A guy goes on to a ship to sail (and work) but he notices no women on board.
so he runs to the captian Guy: capt. capt.! theres no women on borad what will be do for ple"a'sure???
capt.:Ohh… dont worry me laddie just stick ur di'c'k in that barrel and everything will be alright.
So after a few weeks at sea the guy sticks his d'i'ck in the barrel and gets a wonderful sensation.
So he does this every day after that until one day he sticks his d'ic'k in the barrel and nothing happens.
So he runs to the captain and says Guy: capt capt! i stuck my di'c'k in the barrel and nothing happed!
Capt.:Ohhh i forgot to tell you laddie its your turn in the barrel!