An elderly patient in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release.
When asked what he would do if released, he replied,
“I am going to make a slingshot and come back here and break every damn window in the place.”
Obviously, his release was denied.
Six months later, the board was again considering his release and again asked him the same question.
His reply was the same.
“I am going to make a slingshot and come back here and break every damn window in the place”.
Again, he was turned down.
Several months later he was complaining to a fellow patient that he could never seem to get released.
The elderly patient asked him what he said when they interviewed him, and he told him.
The elderly patient said,
“You will never get released with answers like that. You have to tell them what they want to hear. Let me give you some advice on how to answer them when they ask you questions.”
So, after considerable coaching, the man felt that he was ready.
So when the board met again, they again asked him what he would do if they let him out. But this time he was ready.
He said, “I am going to get a job, find an apartment, and settle down.”
“Good,” they said, and then what?”
He said, “I want to meet a nice girl and start dating.”
They agreed he was making real progress and asked, “And then what”?
“One night when we are alone in my apartment, I am going to make passionate love to my girlfriend. I am going to take her dress off, and then take her bra off and lie her down on the bed.”
“Yes? they said excitedly.
“Then I am going to gently remove her panties,” he continued.
The board members were really getting excited now and asked,
“Then what are you going to do?”
He said, “I am going to take the elastic out of those panties, make myself a slingshot, come back here and break every damn window in this place!!!
--An Elderly Lady From A Remote Little Town--
An elderly lady from a remote little town went to one of Philadelphia’s most fashionable suburbs to visit her niece and husband.
Nearby was a very well known golf course.
On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady went for a stroll.
Upon her return, the young niece asked,
“Well, Auntie, did you enjoy yourself?”
“Oh, yes, indeed,” said Auntie, beaming.
“Before I had walked very far,” she continued,
“I came to some beautiful rolling fields. There seemed to be a number of people about, mostly men. Some of them kept shouting at me in a very eccentric manner, but I took no notice. There were four men who followed me for some time, uttering curious excited barking sounds. Naturally, I ignored them, too.”
“Oh, by the way,” she added, as she held out her hands,
“I found a number of these curious little round white balls, so I picked them all up and brought them home hoping you could explain what they’re for.”
