An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window:
Butter – 9 francs.
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign:
Butter – 8 francs.
Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read:
Butter – 7 francs.
This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said,“Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete.”
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered, “Monsieur, I don’t even sell butter.”
--Positive Attitude--
Late in the night, Jim, a Marine, finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, in agonizing pain.
He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable,
“You may not feel anything from the waist down.”
Also speaking slowly, he managed to mumble in reply,
“Can I feel your tits, then?”
And that, friends, is a Positive Attitude
