Who in the hell is Larry?
Well, Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says “Where the hell have you been?”
Larry replies “I was out getting a tattoo!”
“A tattoo”? She frowned.
“What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,” he said proudly.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disgust.
“Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”
“Well,
One, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.. and,
Lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.”
--A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful--
She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
“I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.
Did you mean 2.5 gallons?”
The blonde said, “I want 25 gallons.
I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.”
The milkman asked, “Do you want it pasteurized?”
The blonde said, “No, just up to my boobs.
I can splash it on my eyes.”
