The man wanted the most expensive lady in the house
The madam opened the br'o't'hel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
“May I help you?” she asked.
“I want to see Penny,” the man replied.
“Sir, Penny is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else?,” said the madam.
“No. I must see Penny,” was the man’s reply.
Just then, Penny appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Penny, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Penny.
Penny explained that no-one had ever come back two nights in a row – too expensive – and there were no discounts.
The price was still $1,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Penny and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Penny and they went upstairs.
After their romp, Penny questioned the man.
“No-one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?” she asked.
The man replied, “South Carolina.”
“Really?” she said. “I have family in South Carolina.”
“I know,” the man said.
“Your father died, and I am your sister’s attorney.”
“She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance.”
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
Death
Taxes
Being screwed by a lawyer
--Two men both seriously ill--
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room’s only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.
Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”
