A man and a woman were dating.
She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly plea's'ure that he wanted from her so bad.
In fact, he had never even seen her undr''es''sed.
One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.
“I can’t stand it anymore,” she told him.
“Let’s play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I’ll remove one piece of clothing.
He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her T-shirt.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her undergarment.
Now seeing her undressed for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car.
He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree.
His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped.
She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck.
“Go to the road and get help,” he said.
“I don’t have anything to cover myself with!” she replied.
The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.
“You’ll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,” he told her.
So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver.
Seeing a undressed, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.
“My boyfriend! My boyfriend!” she sobs, “He’s stuck and I can’t pull him out!”
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, “Ma’am, if he’s in that far, I’m afraid he’s a goner!”
--A young lady is working at old people home--
A young lady is working at an old people’s home when she walks into an old gentleman’s room.
He’s holding a set of photographs and looks upset.
“What’s the matter?” She asks
“I’ve got no-one to pass these onto to when I go”. Says the old man, looking at his photos
“Let me show you” and he presents her with a photo of an old car,
“this is my vintage E type Jaguar. It’s priceless and in pristine condition”
“I’ll… I’ll let you have it if you just give me a quick flash of those lovely melons.”
Interested in the prospect of inheriting the old man’s car and feeling a bit sorry for the old geezer, she agrees and proceeds to undress for him.
Looking visibly happier, he pulls out another photo,
“This is my house in Devon. It’s an 8 bedroom mansion with a swimming pool and 25 acres of land.”
“You can have it, only, I’d love to see those melons bouncing.
She thinks about this for a few seconds, then agrees and proceeds to jump up and down topless in front of the old man.
Now vibrant, the old man grabs another photo and says :
“here, look, this is my yacht off of the coast of Gibraltar.”
“It’s yours if you could just let me play with those spiffing melons of yours for a couple of minutes.”
Deciding it’s worth it, she leans forward and lets the old man have a good fumble of her jubilees.
Wide-eyed and with a cheeky grin on his face, the old man says, “thank you so much, my dear.”
He stands up and hands her the three photographs.
