A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar
Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her
After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
“I'll do anything you'd like
Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game
I want 100 dollars, and there's another condition”.
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
She replies, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman
He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 ten-dollar bills in her outstretched hand.
He then looks her square in the eye, and says slowly and clearly:
“Paint my house.”
--Getting Older--
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”
The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”
The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table.
Then she told them, “That must be the door; I’ll get it!”
