A little old lady decides to join The Hell’s Angels so one day she goes up and
knocks on their clubhouse door.
A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She boldly proclaims, “I want to join your club.”
The guy is amused, and decides to humor her a bit, so he says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.
The biker asks “Do you have a motorcycle?”
The little old lady replies, “Yep… my bike’s parked over there,” and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, “Do you drink?”
The little old lady replies, “Yep, like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”
The biker then asks, “Do you smoke?”
The little old lady replies, “Yep, smoke like a chimney.
At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I’m shooting pool.”
The biker is very impressed and asks, “You sound like one bad Mama.
Tell me, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, “Nope, but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times and I kinda liked it."
--An Old Lady Having A Problem--
One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch between her legs.
She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”.
She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old v***gin.
She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him.
The doctor said, “You probably have the crabs”.
“No” she said, “I am an eighty year old v***gin.”
Frustrated, she went to a third doctor.
She said, “Doctor can you help me? I have an itch between my legs.
Don’t tell me that it is the crabs because I am an eighty year old v**gin.
It can not be the crabs.” The doctor said, Jump on the table and let’s have a look.”
“After examining the doctor proclaimed, “Ma’am, you’r right, you do not have the crabs, this cherry is so old, you have fruit flies.”
