Three girls died and were brought to the Gates of Heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St.
Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter told the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question”.
“Which is …”, they replied in unison?
“Have you been a good girl”, he asked the first girl?
“Oh yes”, she said. “I was a vi'r'g'in before I got married, and was still virgin even after I got married”.
“Very good”, said St. Peter. “Angel, give this girl… the golden key”.
“Have you been a good girl”, he asked the second girl?
“Oh, quite good”, she said. “I was a virgin before I got married, but was not after I got married”.
“Very good”, said St. Peter. “Angel, give this girl… the silver key”.
“Have you been a good girl”, he asked the third girl?
“Oh no, not at all”, she said. “I practically had sex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime”.
“Very good”, said St. Peter. “Angel, give this girl… my room key”.
-- The husband arrived home--
A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport.
It was after midnight.
While en-route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.
For 100 dollars, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom.
The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.
The husband is furious and gets his shotgun from the closet.
The wife shouted, “Don’t do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money.”
“He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser.”
“He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!”
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the shotgun.
He looked over at the cab driver and said, “What would you do?”
The cabby said,
“I’d cover him up with that blanket, before he catches a cold!”
