After 15 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie
She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for 10 years, but the demands of my work and my 2 children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie
“What's wrong, are you well?” she asked.
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that late nights call or surprise invitation is a sign of bad news
“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded
“Just the two of us.” She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date
She waited in the door with her coat on.
She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an Angel's
“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car
“They can't wait to hear about our meeting.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy
My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady
After we sat down, I had to read the menu
Her eyes could only read large print.
Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.
A nostalgic smile was on her lips
“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said
“Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.
During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life.
We talked so much that we missed the movie
As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” Asked my wife when I got home
“Very nice
Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
-- A girl brings a guy home one night.--
They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do “69”.
“What the hell is that?” asks the guy.
Realizing he’s inexperienced, she tries to explain, “I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine.”
Still not knowing what she’s talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it.
The second they get in to the position, she lets go a RIP-ROARING fart.
“What was that for?” he asks.
“Oooopppps! Sorry, lets try it again.” she says.
So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose
The guy gets up and starts to put his coat on.
“Wait, where are you going?” she asks.
The guy says, ” If you think I’m sticking around for 67 more of those, you’re crazy !!!!!
