The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life, had finally retired.
At her next checkup, her new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?”
“Yes, they help me to sleep at night.”
“Mrs Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young Doctor‘s knee.
Yes dear, I know that.
“But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year old granddaughter drinks….. And believe me, it helps me sleep at night.”
--How the Dog fooled a Leopard--
A wealthy man decided to go on safari in Africa. Instead of leaving him with a pet sitter, the man took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund was chasing butterflies and before long discovered that he was lost.
After wandering for a bit, the dachshund noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching leopard.
Just as the leopard was about to leap, the dachshund exclaimed loudly, "Boy, that was a delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride and slunk away into the trees. "Whew," thought the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off goes the monkey. But the dachshund noticed the monkey heading after the leopard, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck a deal with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being fooled and said, "Hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
The dachshund saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog crouched down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet.
Just when they got close enough to hear him, the dachshund said, "Where's that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
The leopard ran away.
