Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in.
He addresses the man behind the counter:
“Are you the owner?” The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
Jacob: “How about V'i'a'gra?”
Pharmacist: “Of course.”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”
--How the Dog fooled a Leopard--
A wealthy man decided to go on safari in Africa. Instead of leaving him with a pet sitter, the man took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund was chasing butterflies and before long discovered that he was lost.
After wandering for a bit, the dachshund noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thought, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and
immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching leopard.
Just as the leopard was about to leap, the dachshund exclaimed loudly, "Boy, that was a delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in mid-stride and slunk away into the trees. "Whew," thought the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off goes the monkey. But the dachshund noticed the monkey heading after the leopard, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans and struck a deal with the leopard. The leopard was furious at being fooled and said, "Hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
The dachshund saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thought, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog crouched down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hadn't seen them yet.
Just when they got close enough to hear him, the dachshund said, "Where's that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
The leopard ran away.
