Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods meet at a fund raiser. Woods turns to Wonder and says:
“How is the singing career going?”
Stevie Wonder replies:
“Not too bad! How’s the golf?”
Woods replies:
“Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right now.”
Stevie Wonder says:
“I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the
next time I play, it seems to be all right.
Tiger Woods says:
“You play golf?”
Stevie Wonder says:
“Oh, yes, I’ve been playing for years.”
Woods says:
“But, you’re blind. How can you play golf if you’re blind?”
Wonder replies:
“I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice.”
“But, how do you putt?”, asks Woods. “Well,” says Stevie, “I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.”
Woods asks:
“What’s your handicap?”
Stevie says,
“Well, I’m a scratch golfer.”
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie: “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”
Wonder replies:
“Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole.”
Woods thinks about it and says,
“OK, I’m game for that, when would
you like to play?”
Stevie says,
“Pick a night.”
--He goes home to tell his wife--
A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live.
He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have lovemaking with him since he only had 24 hours to live.
“Of course Darling,” she replied.
And so they have lovemaking.
Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again and says, “you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?”
Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have lovemaking.
Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion.
He taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, “You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?”
By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees.
After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, “Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?”
She turns to him with a sour look on her face and says, “You know… you don’t have to get up in the morning. I do!!!”
