After going through the line at a crowded mall cafeteria,
The three rambunctious teenage boys found they were forced to share a table with a kindly looking old lady.
One of the lads decided to have a bit of fun at the woman’s expense and, nudging one of his buddies under the table, suddenly remarked,
“Did your folks ever get married?”
“Nope,” replied his tablemate, picking up the put on.
“How about you?”
“They never bothered,” answered the first young man.
“That’s nothing,” interrupted the third,
“My mother doesn’t even know who my father is.”
The elderly woman looked up from her coffee and said sweetly.
“Excuse me, but would one of you little b@stards please pass the sugar?”
-- Funny Joke ‣ A Girl Is About To Tie The Knot--
A girl is about to tie the knot and is watching her mother bake biscuits in the kitchen.
“Mom?” she asks.
“How do you keep Dad so happy after all these years of marriage?”
The mother promptly throws a wad of biscuit dough on the floor, hikes up her dress, and squats down, picking the dough up with her privates.
“Practice this and when you can do it, I’ll guarantee that your man will be satisfied with the rest of his life,” said her mother.
So the girl practised and practised until her wedding night.
While her anxious husband waited for her in the bed, she emerged wearing a sexy negligee, carrying a can of biscuit dough.
She opened the can, threw the dough on the floor, lifted her negligee, and squatted over the dough, letting out a thunderous fart as she did so.
Her husband, startled, jumped from the bed and backed away.
What’s wrong, honey?” she asked. He replied, “Shit woman!” as he stepped further away.
“If that thing barks like that for a biscuit, I sure as hell don’t want to
