Can I Buy You A Drink? – Humor

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I got chatting to a girl in a club.

“Can I buy you a drink ?” I asked.

“Have you not got a girlfriend ?” she replied, “Guys like you always have girlfriends.”

“No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago,” I assured her.

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, “Go on then, I’ll have a white wine please.”

A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love. While I was putting my clothes back on she said, “So, you’re good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed.
Can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend ?”
I said, “My wife found out.”
--An elderly man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of viagra--
The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.
“Why not?” asked the elderly man.

“Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor.

“But I need it really bad,” said the man.

“Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor.

The elderly man said,

“My girlfriend is coming to town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday, and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.”

The doctor finally relented saying,

“Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.”

On Monday, the elderly man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling.

The doctor asked,

“What happened to you?”

The elderly man said,

“No one showed up.”

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