Elsa, a 97 year old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, St
Peter was standing there waiting for her.
He said, “Welcome, Elsa. Do you have a last wish before you enter paradise?”
“I do,” Elsa replied
“I would like to return to Earth for a few minutes and for once in my life witness a birth where the father is the one who has to endure the pain of having a baby.”
St
Peter thought this was a reasonable request, so Elsa was sent back to Earth for a short while.
She found herself standing in the home of a woman who was just having a baby. While giving birth, the mother seemed to be in no pain whatsoever.
The midwife was curious to see how her husband was doing, but was surprised to see him calmly sitting on a chair by an open window, smoking his pipe.
“How are you feeling? Aren’t you in pain?” the midwife asked him.
“Oh no, I’m feeling great,” the husband replied
“But I think we have to call for an ambulance. Our neighbor John is lying out there on the lawn screaming his head off!”.
-- A woman was nagging her husband--
A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which the husband answered, “What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!”
Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again, “Honey, can you fix the faucet?” The husband replied, “What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!”
Two days later, a light bulb went out and she begged him again, “Honey, can you change the light bulb?” His reply was, “What am I? An electrician?!”
A few days later, the husband comes home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, he says, “Honey, what happened here?”
The wife replies, “You know our new next door neighbor? He came over and fixed everything.” The husband says, “Honey, how did you pay him?!”
“Oh, you know,” the wife says, “he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have make love with him.” Somewhat relieved the husband asks, “Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?”
The wife replies, “Who do you think I am? Betty C rocker?!”
