A young couple were on their honeymoon.
The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath?
I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."
--An Orange Ball--
A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the examining rooms and says, “What the hell happened to you, my friend?”
“Well, doc,” the man replies, “It’s like this. My wife and I were out on the golf course off the eighth tee when we both wind up slicing into a cow pasture next to the course.
So we both head into the pasture to see if we can find our balls. Now, doc, when we play, I usually play a white ball, and my wife plays an orange one.”
“So what happened in the cow pasture?” the doctor asks.
“Okay, so we’re hunting around for a few minutes, and neither one of us is having any luck. Then I notice this cow walking kind of funny and flicking her tail. So I go up, lift the cow’s tail, and there’s an orange ball lodged right in the cow’s rectum!
“So I call over to my wife, lift the cow’s tail for her to see, and I say, ‘Hey, honey, this looks like yours!’
“Doc, that’s the last thing I remember….”
