Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her southern belle friends.
She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound. "You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says Miss Annabell.
"They have men there who kiss other men on the lips."
Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!"
"They call them homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell.
"Oh my! Oh my," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves.
"They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!"
"Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask.
"They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell.
"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City," sighs Miss Annabell.
"Oh my! Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls as the sit on the edge of their chairs and fan themselves even faster.
"What do they call them?" they ask in unison.
Miss Annabell leans forward and says in a hush, "Why when I caught my breath, I called him Precious."
--Little Johnny Goes To Department Store--
Little Johnny goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid says “Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Newfoundland.”
Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he’d give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
“You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.
“How many customers bought something from you today?”
The Little Johnny frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, “One”.
The boss says
“Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon if you’d like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Vancouver. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Newfoundland, but you’re not on the farm anymore, son.”
The Little Johnny took his beating but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically),
“So, how much was your one sale for?”
The Little Johnny looks up at his boss and says “$101,237.65′′.
The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?”
The Little Johnny says,
“Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks.
Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin-engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition.”
The boss said,
“A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?”
The Little Johnny said
“No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing.’”
