Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "S'e'x".
Now, S''e'x has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too."
Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 year old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for S''e'x. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered S'e'x in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around.
I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again.
I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."
My case comes up on Friday...
--Do Your Boobs?--
One day this guy named Dan was sitting in class next to a really hot girl named Jen. He was a dork but had a huge chrush on Jen.
Dan wanted to tell her about his chrush on her but didn't know how to.
So he said "Are your boobs so hard that when you touch them your fingers start bleeding?"
Jen was totally grossed out and said in reply "I guess you've never seen boobs before" **The End**
