A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that
would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much
in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters,
explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had
ever experienced before.
But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to
go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine
to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping
out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer
ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.
Oops.... I guess the husband is NOT the father !!!
--An Elderly Man Driving Along The Highway--
An elderly man driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls.
He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.
When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed!
The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there’s hardly standing room anywhere.
The old man scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms but to no avail.
Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up.
When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked.
All but one.
When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor.
Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he’s ever had right there in the hole.
Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs.
The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight.
Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.
“What happened!?!” says the old man.
The bartender responds
“Where were you when the sh!t hit the fan?!”
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