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A blonde girl was going on her first date and her grandmother gave her some advice:
“The boy may try to kiss you -it will feel good, but don’t do it. He may try to go up your skirt – but dont let him. He may try to take your clothes off – but don’t do it. He may try to get on top of you – but don’t do it. If you do any of these things, you’ll disgrace your family.”
The girl said she understood and went on her date.
The girl came home at about 11pm and her grandmother was waiting for her and said, “Well, did you disgrace the family?”
“No”, said the girl, “Instead of letting him do those things to me, I did them to him and now it’s his family that’s disgraced!”
--A professor, a CEO--
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”
The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher
What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom.
After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says “I’ll be a waiter
All you do is carry food back and forth
This’ll be a breeze” so he is teleported to a restaurant.
After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility.
He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars.
The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says “I got a masters degree in art.”
