An elderly, faithful man died and went to heaven. When he arrived, God said, “Welcome John! You’re wife has been waiting for you!”
Bursting in tears of joy, John started to run around, looking for her frantically. God said, “Not so fast! We have a little gift for you!”
John inquired, “What is it?” God said, “Turn around.”
Behind John was a sexy, gleaming Lamborghini! John exclaimed, “Is this for me?” God said, “Of course it is! It’s a gift for how faithful you were to your wife!
The more faithful you are to your partner, the better car you get!” John said, “Thanks so much! I’m going to go look for her! Thanks again!”
John searches for hours and hours, but still couldn’t find her, so he decided to sleep on it and try again tomorrow.
John was driving around the next day, and saw a woman that looked a lot similar to his wife. In fact, it was! But instead of running up to her, he started crying and drove away to God.
When John approached God, God asked, “Why are you crying? Didn’t you see your wife?”
John replied, “She was on a skateboard
--My Wife is Cheating On Me--
I’m furious, my wife is cheating on me with a painter.
I found traces of paint in the bed.
It’s good that with a painter, and mine cheats on me with a truck.
“That’s enough, how about a truck?”
“I found a driver in bed.”
-- A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar --
pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar.
So, one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.
“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered, “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”
“Well, there you go,” cried the husband.
“And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”
