WIFE: Darling why are you home this early wearing such a Long face?
HUSBAND: Had a terrible day, I lost all my colleagues today at work.
WIFE: Blo' o "d of Jesus! What happened?
HUSBAND: There was a Fire out break down the tunnel and everybody died!
WIFE: What a pity! Darling, I thank God for keeping You Alive. How did you make it out my dear?
HUSBAND: Darling, it was God’s Work. My stomach was upsetting me so, I took a break to ease myself in the toilet.
WIFE: Darling, thank God you are alive. What would have happened to us??!! I feel so much pity for their families, how are they going to survive now?
HUSBAND: My dear it’s a pity, but the UNITED NATIONS has decided to give the families of the deceased $10 million each.
WIFE: What? !!!! Ten million what? Choi!! Honey, you didn’t do well OK, why are you always absent when God wants to bless us?
--A Couple Has A Dog That Snores--
A couple has a dog that snores.
Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s test!cles and he will stop snoring.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual.
The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.
Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon, and ties it carefully around the dog’s
testicles.
Sure enough, the dog stops snoring!
The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies.
He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him.
So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon, and ties it around her husband’s testicles.
Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken sleep and stumbles into the bathroom.
As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.
He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog’s test!cles.
He shakes his head, looks at the dog, and whispers,
“I don’t know where we were or what we did, but, by God, we took first and second place!
