A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table.
Sitting all around were her parents, some of her best friends and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
“Hello – How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him,
“This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word in 5 seconds,” Saint Peter told her.
“Which word?” the woman asked.
“Love.”
The woman correctly spelled ‘Love’, and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her.
I married that sexy young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. I gave her all your gold jewellery and diamonds.
I sold that diamond studded watch you had gifted me on my birthday. And then using that money my new wife and I travelled all around Europe.
We were on vacation in Switzerland and I went skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. Now how do I get in?”
“You have to spell a word in 5 seconds,” the woman told him.
“Cool ! Which word?” her husband asked.
“Schizosaccharomycentezea”
Moral of the story: Never anger your wife … dead or alive.
There will be Hell even if u r in Heaven!
--An Old Man Entered The Car Agency--
An Old man entered the car agency together with his young wife.
The owner of the agency spotted the couple and went over to wait upon them himself.
He could not help staring at the lady, which, of course, the old man noticed.
“May I propose a wager,” he said.
“If you can do everything to my wife that I can do and still end up the same way as I do, I will pay you to double for the car. But if you cannot, you will give it to me for free!”
“OK, agreed!”
The old man gave his wife a passionate kiss and the agency owner did the same.
Then the man unbuttoned her blouse and kissed her bre@sts.
So did the agency owner.
Then the husband opened his fly, pulled out his pecker and bent it in half.
“What color car do you want?” asked the agency owner.
